I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
