So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
