You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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