I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
