Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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