Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
