I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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