I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
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