I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
