What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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