I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
