Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm having to shit out rocks
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
