420 ftw
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
