the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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