a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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