I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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