he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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