On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
is it fun? or sober?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
