just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
