peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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