so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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