Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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