yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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