We're facebook friends in real life
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
