Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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