I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
