hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
