i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
