I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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