covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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