As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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