At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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