belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
