Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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