She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
