she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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