I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
