To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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