and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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