So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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