It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
