Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
