Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
