all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
