i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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