i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
