is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
