Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
