weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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