Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
