do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
