I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
